Saturday, July 02, 2005
Comedy Scrap Metal
I am moving out of my very first NY apartment and into a co-op purchased by my husband, myself and a bank. People keep saying, you must feel so grown up! I did, until I started sorting, packing and throwing stuff out.
Tonight I started going through 6 years worth of notebooks, scrap paper, napkins and postcards with sketch/joke ideas written on them. If I don’t have a notebook on me when a genius thought comes to my mind, I’ll grab whatever I can, write the idea down then make a promise to flush it out that evening. But what actually happens is they are placed on the bottom shelf of a bookcase. Please enjoy the following list of ideas/dialogue I found.
*Suck my dick, my tiny clit, stick it up your funny clit.
*“Dear Rosie, Why did the tee shirt eat a pig? Hell if I know.”
*Really tiny puppy.
*Parody of a Van Halen Video
*Gov’t Issued Tampons
*A family that ACTUALLY goes over the river and through the woods.
*A boy brings his quadriplegic dad to Show & Tell.
*Little kid – “I’m eating shit and I’m naked”
*Big Brother Cast member – 80 year old retard
*Your kids got 6 dicks. ( I wrote that one last week).
*Patty cake, Patty cake – Mommy’s a man
*Lyrics to a parody of Tom Petty’s Free Falling – called Free Ballin
*Things that should NOT be cloned – Todd Bridges
*Ready. Set. Puke.
*“And your refusal to get rid of your Vagina Face”
*Commercial Parody “Freakin Large Pad” (sanitary napkins)
As you can tell I am a very successful writer. My phone won’t stop ringing with offers. People want my ideas published in their magazines and produced for their TV shows.
Most of this stuff will be shredded. I wouldn’t want the paper that reads ‘Really Tiny Puppy’ to fall in the wrong hands (or the sewer).
As an added bonus to my faithful readers, I share with you my ego, which has severely deflated after tonight’s sorting. Below is something I scribbled in a notebook and shared with my friend CPG, we must have been at a meeting or something, I wrote it shortly after being placed on my first improv team at UCBT.
“I bet Tina Fey looked at our JRT picture and said, CPG & SPO look hilarious! And then Katan did a line of coke off it with his cock.”
It has been confirmed. My middle name is CLASS.
-SCO
Tonight I started going through 6 years worth of notebooks, scrap paper, napkins and postcards with sketch/joke ideas written on them. If I don’t have a notebook on me when a genius thought comes to my mind, I’ll grab whatever I can, write the idea down then make a promise to flush it out that evening. But what actually happens is they are placed on the bottom shelf of a bookcase. Please enjoy the following list of ideas/dialogue I found.
*Suck my dick, my tiny clit, stick it up your funny clit.
*“Dear Rosie, Why did the tee shirt eat a pig? Hell if I know.”
*Really tiny puppy.
*Parody of a Van Halen Video
*Gov’t Issued Tampons
*A family that ACTUALLY goes over the river and through the woods.
*A boy brings his quadriplegic dad to Show & Tell.
*Little kid – “I’m eating shit and I’m naked”
*Big Brother Cast member – 80 year old retard
*Your kids got 6 dicks. ( I wrote that one last week).
*Patty cake, Patty cake – Mommy’s a man
*Lyrics to a parody of Tom Petty’s Free Falling – called Free Ballin
*Things that should NOT be cloned – Todd Bridges
*Ready. Set. Puke.
*“And your refusal to get rid of your Vagina Face”
*Commercial Parody “Freakin Large Pad” (sanitary napkins)
As you can tell I am a very successful writer. My phone won’t stop ringing with offers. People want my ideas published in their magazines and produced for their TV shows.
Most of this stuff will be shredded. I wouldn’t want the paper that reads ‘Really Tiny Puppy’ to fall in the wrong hands (or the sewer).
As an added bonus to my faithful readers, I share with you my ego, which has severely deflated after tonight’s sorting. Below is something I scribbled in a notebook and shared with my friend CPG, we must have been at a meeting or something, I wrote it shortly after being placed on my first improv team at UCBT.
“I bet Tina Fey looked at our JRT picture and said, CPG & SPO look hilarious! And then Katan did a line of coke off it with his cock.”
It has been confirmed. My middle name is CLASS.
-SCO
