Saturday, September 03, 2005
Doggy Style
I enjoy the TV. I especially enjoy "The Dog Whisperer." on the National Geographic Channel.
Show description from the website:
When man's best friend becomes an unruly dictator, Cesar Millan steps in to save the day. This dog trainer-to-the-stars blends his own brand of canine communication with tough love and can change a high-strung German shepherd into a loveable pup.
I can not stop watching it, and I can't stop ignoring the disclaimer saying not to use any techniques shown without consulting a professional. My dog Satch is on his way to rehabilitation because of my ignorance.
Today I watched an episode that made me laugh because I have a dark dark heart.
"Even though she is retired Eula still considers herself a mother, to her 43 year old son Anton and to her daughter a 5 year old Shit-zu named Sueki"
My first thought after hearing this - her son is retarded. The VO was written so that the producers could quietly let the audience know the son was 'not right', instead of putting chyron under his name that said "Retarded Son", they emphasized his age, and that he was still being mothered. Anton has a huge balding head, his eyes are closer to his chin then most, and his teeth are unfortunate, the visual would have been enough, but the producers wanted to push the unconvinced over to the convinced column.
Sueki's problem - she won't tolerate a Leash on walks, and without that leash she will run up to strangers.
Eula - wants to be able to take walks with her.
Anton - Hopes Cesar can help Sueki cause he too wants to be able to walk her. Oh, and also to meet girls by walking her. Girls love dogs.
Lucky for us, the producers were REALLY listening to these interviews. Because they set-up an amazing closing shot for the piece. Anton finally is walking Sueki on a leash, and a tall blond walks by, bends down and tells Anton his dog is cute. Anton thanks her sheepishly. END ACT ONE.
But what happens? Does Anton continue the conversation? Does he get her number? Plan a date for later that week? Lucky for us I found the lost footage and have transcribed it.
HOT GIRL - You're Dog is cute
ANTON - Thanks.
Girl continues to walk down the block.
A - Hey wait.
HG - Yes?
A - Uh, so you like my dog.
HG - Yeah he is cute.
A - Would you like to come live with me?
HG - Excuse me?
A - You should come live with me and my mom.
HG - You are sweet (read retarded). I have a house though, with my boyfriend.
A - Your what?
HG- My boyfriend.
A - I don't like you.
Anton spits straight up into the air, and swats the spit like a baseball using his hand. Most of the spit remains on his hand, but a small speck reaches her unnoticed.
HG - I have to go.
A - Yes you do.
Anton runs up to the girl and starts to strangle her with the leash. His strength is like that of other mentally challenged individuals - very strong. So strong, the leash severs her head. Anton realizes what he has done, and so does the film crew. At this point the camera drops and is pointed at Anton and Eula's house. Footsteps and screams slowly fade.
A – I just wanted to love you.
Anton runs into frame and towards the bushes framing the front porch. At first it looks like he is pleasuring himself, but quickly we realize he is turning on a hose. He pulls the hose out from the bushes and starts to drink water as it pours out. The intensity of the drinking increases. Anton pauses to water some lilacs in a hanging basket, then shoves the hose down his throat, he falls to the ground, convulsing till his eyeballs pop out and water starts shooting from his eye sockets. There is an eerie silence. Sueki then enters the frame, trotting across the front lawn with the bloody leash around her neck; she goes up to Anton and laps some water from his eye socket. She trots off screen. An eyeball falls in front of the camera lens.
TAPE RUNS OUT.
I now implore you to check your local listings.
Show description from the website:
When man's best friend becomes an unruly dictator, Cesar Millan steps in to save the day. This dog trainer-to-the-stars blends his own brand of canine communication with tough love and can change a high-strung German shepherd into a loveable pup.
I can not stop watching it, and I can't stop ignoring the disclaimer saying not to use any techniques shown without consulting a professional. My dog Satch is on his way to rehabilitation because of my ignorance.
Today I watched an episode that made me laugh because I have a dark dark heart.
"Even though she is retired Eula still considers herself a mother, to her 43 year old son Anton and to her daughter a 5 year old Shit-zu named Sueki"
My first thought after hearing this - her son is retarded. The VO was written so that the producers could quietly let the audience know the son was 'not right', instead of putting chyron under his name that said "Retarded Son", they emphasized his age, and that he was still being mothered. Anton has a huge balding head, his eyes are closer to his chin then most, and his teeth are unfortunate, the visual would have been enough, but the producers wanted to push the unconvinced over to the convinced column.
Sueki's problem - she won't tolerate a Leash on walks, and without that leash she will run up to strangers.
Eula - wants to be able to take walks with her.
Anton - Hopes Cesar can help Sueki cause he too wants to be able to walk her. Oh, and also to meet girls by walking her. Girls love dogs.
Lucky for us, the producers were REALLY listening to these interviews. Because they set-up an amazing closing shot for the piece. Anton finally is walking Sueki on a leash, and a tall blond walks by, bends down and tells Anton his dog is cute. Anton thanks her sheepishly. END ACT ONE.
But what happens? Does Anton continue the conversation? Does he get her number? Plan a date for later that week? Lucky for us I found the lost footage and have transcribed it.
HOT GIRL - You're Dog is cute
ANTON - Thanks.
Girl continues to walk down the block.
A - Hey wait.
HG - Yes?
A - Uh, so you like my dog.
HG - Yeah he is cute.
A - Would you like to come live with me?
HG - Excuse me?
A - You should come live with me and my mom.
HG - You are sweet (read retarded). I have a house though, with my boyfriend.
A - Your what?
HG- My boyfriend.
A - I don't like you.
Anton spits straight up into the air, and swats the spit like a baseball using his hand. Most of the spit remains on his hand, but a small speck reaches her unnoticed.
HG - I have to go.
A - Yes you do.
Anton runs up to the girl and starts to strangle her with the leash. His strength is like that of other mentally challenged individuals - very strong. So strong, the leash severs her head. Anton realizes what he has done, and so does the film crew. At this point the camera drops and is pointed at Anton and Eula's house. Footsteps and screams slowly fade.
A – I just wanted to love you.
Anton runs into frame and towards the bushes framing the front porch. At first it looks like he is pleasuring himself, but quickly we realize he is turning on a hose. He pulls the hose out from the bushes and starts to drink water as it pours out. The intensity of the drinking increases. Anton pauses to water some lilacs in a hanging basket, then shoves the hose down his throat, he falls to the ground, convulsing till his eyeballs pop out and water starts shooting from his eye sockets. There is an eerie silence. Sueki then enters the frame, trotting across the front lawn with the bloody leash around her neck; she goes up to Anton and laps some water from his eye socket. She trots off screen. An eyeball falls in front of the camera lens.
TAPE RUNS OUT.
I now implore you to check your local listings.
